Enduring like an Antarctic Explorer

I’m late to the chat. The book Endurance, by Alfred Lansing, about Shackelton’s Antarctic crossing rose to popularity early on in our days overseas. Guys primarily read the book and gleaned all kinds of significant lessons for leadership and life. I started it once and then didn’t finish it.

When my son gave me the book as a gift, it confused me but I tried to hide it. He didn’t seem interested in the book personally. It just seemed like an unlikely book to gift a mid–40’s…ok late 40’s… mom by a teenage son. I put it all together at book club yesterday as we reminded each other of upcoming books. Endurance is a fall book club selection! I’d put it on my Amazon wish list.

I finished it a week ago. It’s a good book to read when it gets hot outside–just a little tip from the south. Really, where I am, you could read it anytime but if it’s cold and dark in the winter in, say, Alaska, and you tend towards depression. Just wait and read it in the summer.

a cold photo of the Grand Canyon

If you’re ever read Unbroken, Endurance pairs nicely. About a quarter of the way into the book you figure out you’re just going to be here for a while–in an impossible and lengthy stretch of circumstances most people avoid. And then it just goes on and on and on. Spoiler alert–everyone survives mostly intact but you should know that because of the early 2000’s and that Shackelteon’s journey happened over 100 years ago.

Knowing how it ends kept me going. I wanted to know how the author would describe the point where the Shackelton party was rescued or found help. They spent two years of their life where on the daily, their survival hung in the balance. When help came, what would they do?

Several times the happiness of the men struck me as I followed their journey of survival. Tight quarters, meager rations, bitter cold, darkness, danger all plagued their group but they enjoyed each other in ways humanity longs to connect. Not all the time, but they made life full as best they could with what they had. The simplicity of life in their circumstances seemed also to aid this joy, this living in the moment with what they saw before them.

It resonates with me as I think about some of the hardest seasons of life. The days when our apartments hovered close to freezing in Asia because of power brownouts and we traipsed over to friends whose brown out day differed from ours. The times when getting kids to a doctor involved 3 flights of stairs, strollers, taxis, trains filling an entire day and even then I had to translate the drug flyer and write an email to a pharmacist in the US to confirm dosages. Something about physically difficult things in life binds community together and I got to experience that in crossing cultures living abroad.

As hard or even harder is to experience trials that exist in ambiguity, undefined and sometimes invisible to others. Establishing the needed camaraderie to go through those hard times is essential but often more illusive. The dangers of an arctic floe are without, not within and the crisis are in tandem and aligned. In contrast, the endurance necessary for trials like grief is unique to each in its coming and going, and not visible to the naked eye.

And yet, reading a book like Endurance inspires awe and raises my soul to believe that God can enable people to endure far beyond our imaginations and that a key to that endurance is community. The people around us, even the difficult people, inform our ability to keep going when keeping going seems impossible.

I laughed when I realized I’d already completed our book club selection. I’m curious to how our group of middle and older women will talk about Shackelton and his great adventure. I don’t expect us to hammer down into how we will lead like Shackelton but women endure so much.

I’m sure we will hear some good endurance stories from each other!

Stew v. Destiny

I make some pretty good food sometimes. Last night I made chili on the stove instead of the instant pot because one of my sons observed that the instant pot prevented the sauce from thickening the way it did on the stove. Despite the Texas summer heat, I fired up the gas burner for an hour and made a killer pot of chili. He was right, it was better on the stove.

I could see how a really hungry guy might trade a lot for a bowl of my chili because I have two teenage sons. They can pack it away when they’re hungry and I love that times haven’t changed.

Thousands of years have passed and not much about humans is very different. Hunger drives us today like it has from the time Esau traded his place in the family line for a bowl of his brother’s stew.

When reading this story yet again, it finally sank in a little deeper what it means that Esau despised his heritage, his birthright, his place as the first son in the line of Abraham. I didn’t really get it much until now what his tradeoff really reflected about his character and beliefs.

Esau was first in line from Isaac, the miraculously late coming child to Abraham and Sarah. That family storyline we know was told and retold. We tell stories in our family about surprising events over the table again and again. How many times did he hear how beautiful his grandma was and how she and Abraham left their ancestral home at the direction of an unseen God to go to a land that God promised them.

All the adventures they had along the way laid out at the family meals over the entirety of Esau’s life. Isaac’s birth to Abram and Sarai when all hope was lost for a male heir. Sarai laughing at the visitors and then holding a baby a year later!

The promise and destiny of this strange nomadic family that would have descendants like stars in the sky and grains of sand. The family that the would bless the world. The familial aspirations to greatness laid out before the next in line…Esau. Esau was the one that carried the responsibility to continue the story of the future God showed Abraham. He must have known. There’s no way he couldn’t know what was expected of Him.

Then he got hungry and Jacob offered him a trade…give up the right to the lineage to get this bowl of stew. Give up the inheritance due the firstborn materially and also give up the lineage that would bless the world that God promised. Step away from being the one that God worked His plan through. Step away from your family story given by God that you heard from the moment you could remember…for a bowl of stew.

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What must it take to do that? Maybe Esau just didn’t believe it, thought Abraham was crazy and God doesn’t reach down and interact with humans? Maybe Esau just didn’t want the pressure, he wanted to hunt by himself, be left to himself? He didn’t want to lead and didn’t care about material wealth though later he had plenty.

Whatever the reason, we don’t know from the biblical account. We just know he set his entire family story given by God, lived out for a century by faithful parents and grandparents, aside for an immediate and passing physical desire. Missing the bowl of stew wouldn’t kill him.

He didn’t care enough to say no to his desire for food after a long and taxing day of work.

Hebrews, the book of the Bible that brought me face to face with this story in a deeper way, is all about perseverance and endurance. It’s all about saying no to the immediate desire for comfort and compromised peace to live for the bigger story God is working out right now.

I notice my tendency to despise what God has for me when I dream about retiring. That desire to not have the burden of leadership, the desire really to live for myself creeps up and I think that would be so nice. But it’s an escape from walking by faith in the path laid out for me. It’s a manifestation of my inward belief God isn’t giving me the life of peace I want, peace for myself that isn’t true peace because it’s selfish. It’s just cutting myself off from God.

I’ll say there is nothing wrong with retiring, with laying aside your job. I’m talking about the desire to live just for myself. So many retire from their day job to live for Christ with more hours of their day and energy. That is perseverance and endurance.

I’m talking about the desire I can have at times to bow out of the race because it’s hard. So I get Esau and I also get why it’s so tragic. He never really embraced God’s plan for his family and God’s plan for him so he gave it up in a moment of pressure.

He despised it. So today I reflect a little on that tendency in me to give in when the pressure is great and sell out for a bowl of metaphorical chili. I’m not better than Esau, we all have the temptation.

The answer? Look to Jesus the pioneer and champion of my faith who, for the joy set before Him, endured excruciating pain and shame to win the prize…us with Him. And He understands our pain and invites the needy to come to Him for grace and mercy.

It is compelling and it is enough for today.

A Reminder to Myself Upon the Advent of Another Senior Year

School supplies stock shelves at stores, emails arrive about schedule pick ups, senior photo sessions get booked, google calendar dates beckon to be added…they all tell me it won’t be long at all until the pace of my life quickens.

I’m not ready.

It’s a senior year for one of my kids which means lots of extra…stuff. Lots of extra questions for them. Lots of extra questions for me. Lots of coaching through a year of persevering through what they are ready to let go. Constant conversations extending hope for a future that is still murky, the outlines forming but the substance unknown.

Accolades and awards offer less and less motivation and the goal, in our home at least today, is to just cross the finish line. To press into resources still forming in the soul to live life that is truly life. Time will reveal what gets borne through such seasons of endurance.

I know there’s hope in the chaos and uncertainty of the senior year. I’ve walked through it already with one child and dozens of college students.

The path is always loopy and fraught with uncertainty but through these big life transitions I look back and see:

a worthy image depicting what a senior year feels like for some

the next steps revealed as each step is taken

most of the questions of the fall somehow gain direction by spring

faith required even for those that are 100% certain of their direction

friendships deepen and form in seasons of transition for those that continue to cultivate them

these big moments always needing to yield to farther-reaching truths of identity

Because graduating is one milestone in a long journey of twists and bends. It’s easy to see it loom with more import than it deserves. It’s not the final goal of life. There are much bigger goals worth pursuing that involve integrity of character, perseverance, and hope.

May this milestone and all it takes to get to it yield more of what is required to pursue even loftier yet less celebrated vistas.