I have a love hate relationship with waiting. I love the anticipation of waiting for something good that I know is coming. I resist waiting with hope in seasons of pain, grief, and isolation.

I just finished the Old Testament, except for a few Psalms and Proverbs, and stared at that stark page announcing the New Testament. An impression came over me that at this moment I needed to slow down for a day and reflect rather than plough on through to the gospels.

While I’m waiting a day to move forward, others before me waited 400 years between their last communication from God and the arrival of Jesus. Even that arrival of Jesus wasn’t well known to the community for decades and many never acknowledged or realized that He was the One that they waited to appear.

What must it be like to wait for God in His silence and anticipate all that seems to be coming while also living occupied and oppressed, holding onto a thread of hope?

I’m not sure but as I paused and reflected on my reading of the Bible thus far, a litany of thoughts and impressions occupied me.

Here’s what I contemplated as I paused between testaments:

People are hopelessly messed up and keep doing the same wrong things over and over again. In Egypt, God rescues His people with signs and wonders, news of which spread far and wide striking fear into surrounding nations. But it wasn’t enough to permanently change the people’s hearts to trust God. The kings they wanted couldn’t fix them and actually made things worse. Even those that wanted to do good couldn’t seem to keep themselves from messing up.

2500 + years later I don’t see any evidence that people, on our own, do anything different or better. We still face ourselves in all the same failures and evil related in the Bible thousands of years ago.

God communicated with people…a very lot. The shear massive size of the books of the Old Testament filled with the story of who God is, who people are, what’s wrong with the relationship between God and people, how people feel about God, stories of how myriad people respond to God, and the pervasive humanity of it all…it is quite overwhelming.

Besides Daniel, there’s not really a character in the Bible that comes shining through. They all have very real, very human issues and failures. There’s no hiding reality and many parts are just tough to read. The world has been and is and will be a very difficult place to live because of that first point. And yet, God preserved His communication telling people who He is and inviting them, wooing them, even commanding them to return to Him over and over and over in order to live the full life He offers.

Easter eggs. It gets talked about a lot in reference to Taylor Swift these days. But the Old Testament is just filled with Easter eggs referencing a better future, a resolution of the problems in people and between people and God. They’re thrown in all over the place and, again, a brisk read through makes them even more obvious in my experience.

At some point in the future…things will be so different between people and God and it’s going to be amazing. Abundant harvests, peace, joy, feasts, justice, rest, a place for everyone, many from all nations under God’s favor… and an end to all the horror that exists in the people’s current reality.

Glittering passages of expectation and hope scattered through vast fields of sadness, despair, and tragedy…easter eggs.

Hope, expectation, and confusion. That’s what I’m left with as I stare at the title page for the New Testament. That title page represents a 400 year gap between the New and Old.

400 years where, if I were those people in Israel, I’d be thinking…now what?

We came up from Egypt and messed up in the Promised Land, royally messed up God’s plan. We got exiled, justly, and God preserved a remnant like He said He would. We thought we learned our lessons. Keep the Sabbath, follow the law, don’t worship idols, worship God at the one place He says. Then, miracle of all miracles, exactly 70 years later, kings who worshiped all kinds of other gods actually let us come back to Jerusalem, build the temple, build back the wall, settle back in the land.

It was touch and go at first in the whole obedience department. Some went back to the old ways and Nehemiah had to pull some hair but we think we got it this time. We are going to excel at keeping the Sabbath and following the law and not worshiping idols and worship only at the temple this time. When God sees we got that down, we get our King back, the one in the David dynasty, and we’re out from the thumb of all these nations like we were before. We’re back on the world stage, politically powerful and everyone sees that God is Almighty. We win wars again and we have the prosperity like God promised originally. This David-like King is promised to be something really extraordinary!

We just gotta do better and things will get better for us…except 400 years pass and we have no king, no political power, we’re still dominated by other nations, struggling to survive. We’re desperately trying to figure out what detail we’re missing in the law, what is keeping God from delivering us again? When we rebuilt the temple, why did the cloud and the fire not come down like it did at other times? Where is God? Who is this Elijah like person He promises will come in the future? Why is He waiting, when is it going to happen? When will we get that powerful king? When will He at least talk to us again?

And the people wait and anticipate and hope and try to cling to God…or at least His law.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.